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FuneralsSupport for the sorrowing – an open-door. St John’s East Malvern seeks to support those who are bereaved. Anyone who lives in our parish and has an Anglican allegiance, or who has a connection with St John’s is most welcome to our ministry at a time of bereavement. This welcome extends from those who are closely involved with the church, to occasional church attenders and to those who may see themselves as not religious. Our ministry includes both the provision of a funeral service and follow-up support. Most people expect a funeral to take the form of a church service, in much the way that the whole community looks to the church to provide a venue and an occasion when there is a national tragedy. A beautiful church building, such as St John’s, offers a spiritually sustaining atmosphere for a funeral service. Sometimes a family prefers the service to take place at the premises of an undertaker, or at a crematorium chapel. It is helpful where possible to think about funeral arrangements in advance and to share those thoughts with family or close friends. In situations of serious illness the clergy (or hospital chaplain) can be informed and spiritual ministry can be part of patient care. Prayers for the sick are an important part of our ministry at St John’s. At the time of death a funeral director needs to be chosen to assist with practical arrangements and the range of available options. They will assist you to give expression to your wishes, especially for an Anglican service. Funeral firms widely advertise their services. Some claim to offer a cheaper service. Others mention being Australian-owned. Pre-paid funerals are available. The firms most frequently used by our parishioners are: John Allison/Monkhouse, Le Pine, Tobin Brothers, It is entirely appropriate to discuss likely costs with a funeral director, and what extra costs if any in having the funeral in church. After a death has occurred there is no urgency in the completing of arrangements. The next of kin may prefer the funeral to take place several days after the initial shock of the death. The undertaker can assist in placing a death notice in the daily press, and a later notice about arrangements for the funeral. Those most immediately bereaved should have a sense of being in control of what happens, the timing and which day, and the style of the funeral. A funeral is primarily for those who are left, even though we take care to commemorate the person who has died. The mystery of death and the pain of grief are so important that we have traditional ways to give expression to our sorrow, to find comfort and solace, and to commemorate those who have died. We do this through a funeral service and the rites by which we lay a person’s body to rest. The funeral may help us acknowledge our loss, give thanks for the person who has died, make our last farewell, and begin to take up life once more. A Christian funeral has a built-in comfort and hope, based on belief in God, and the life and teachings of Jesus Christ. The elements of a funeral service. A celebratory occasion to come together to celebrate and give thanks for all we have valued in someone’s life is a source of great strength amidst our sorrow. Scripture readings, the prayers of the church, organ music and the singing of a hymn all contribute to such an occasion. Speaking about the person who has died by way of thankfulness is an important part of the commemoration. The clergy are accustomed to giving a eulogy, but need guidance from family members over what should be said. This can be written down or shared in conversation. Sometimes a friend or family member can give the eulogy, but care and guidance is needed for anyone who is unaccustomed to speaking at a funeral. It may be unfair to ask someone to put their own grief on hold in order to speak in public. A further element is farewell and letting go, which is expressed in the prayer of committal (traditionally said at the grave-side). The presence of the body in the coffin or casket is an important focus for the funeral, marking a further stage in accepting the reality of the death, honouring the one who has died, and in laying their mortal remains to rest. A single service or a funeral service followed by burial or cremation? Traditionally a funeral service is followed by a service of burial at the grave-side or a similar service of farewell and committal at the crematorium. These prayers of farewell can be said as part of a single service and the casket, unaccompanied by mourners, proceeds to the crematorium. Having a single occasion is simpler, keeps everyone together, and allows refreshments to be served soon after the funeral service before people disperse. However, the sensitivities of the most immediately bereaved need to be considered, and in particular having a permanent visual focus around the earthly remains being safely laid to rest. The burial of ashes can take place at a later time. Another option is for refreshments to be served immediately after the funeral service, and then after an hour or so for the immediate family to accompany the hearse to a private cremation service. The immediately bereaved may have already made some farewells at the hospital, and in many cases arrangements with the undertaker for a viewing in advance of the funeral may help in the process of saying goodbye. Customised and personal. The speaking about the person, the choice of music and hymns, flowers for the casket and in the church are just some of the ways to attune a funeral to the person who has died. A photograph or other memorabilia may be placed near the casket. The casket arrives at the church half an hour before the service, and family members may wish to be present as it is accompanied into the church and candles placed nearby and lit. If children are among the bereaved, their involvement can be planned. A memorial book may be placed in the porch to be signed by mourners as a record of attendance. At St John’s we encourage the traditional practice of pall-bearers being chosen to carry the casket on shoulders from the church during the concluding procession. (These days undertakers use a trolley rather than carry). St John’s is willing to provide refreshments after a funeral which may be served in the narthex at the back of the church or in the church hall. At St John’s we have the very helpful facility of a Memorial Garden adjoining the church where ashes can be buried. While each plot is separate, the ashes are interred permanently in the earth itself. The name of the person who has died is inscribed in a book in the nearby church porch and that person is remembered in prayer on the Sunday nearest the anniversary of their death. Flowers in the church may be given for that anniversary. There is a free-standing lych-gate where people may come and sit quietly in the garden if they wish. Arrangements for the burial of ashes is through the Vicar. A donation for this service is appreciated, especially in the light of the cost structure for a similar facility at a crematorium or cemetery. Enquiries: Fr. John Baldock – Tel. 9571 6616 Designed by: Heathmont
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